It's been a crappy couple of days for me, so why should you care? Because I send along jokes as a tonic, that's why. This one's from my buddy Rick Pliscott, who I don't always agree with, but I usually get a chuckle when he sends down something like the one below. Enjoy!
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidge.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: • If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs
• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
• If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
• If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
• If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1. spending it at yard sales, or
2. going to ball games, or
3. spending it on prostitutes, or
4. beer or
5. tattoos
(these are the only American businesses still operating in the US)
Suggestion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
9/12
Do the numbers mean anything?
Perhaps to some elementary school students, they get put down to the lowest common denominator to 3/4. To others it's the middle sequence to the numbers 3/6 and 15/18.
For others, it's "the day after".
The day after what?
9/11, of course. But I guarantee there are those that had to think about it, and that's sad--sad because what happened on 9/11/2001 should be galvanized on the minds of every single American, and more to the point, of why extremism within our borders should be avoided at all costs.
That's right, the toppling of the twin towers, the damage to The Pentagon, the loss of all of those lives and the anguish still being felt on a daily--and for some on an hourly basis. All brought to this land by an extreme group called Al-Qaeda. And, it's hard to believe it's been 8-years since the largest act of terrorism on American soil. And while we live in what many call the "post 9/11 world", many have just gone on with their lives as if it never happened--until they remember it on each anniversary. And that's a shame, although I shouldn't be surprised.
And, I guess that's the reason I didn't write about 9/11 until 9/12. To America's credit, most observed the day in remembrance, most remember exactly where they were when they saw those first images of horror and terror. I know some mourned and others prayed. I know some got angry and others just remembered. Thank goodness our politicians called off the dogs for the day.
And, it's on that note--remembering 9/11/01 as a day that, for the day and for awhile after--we stopped being Democrat and Republican, Black and White (and every other people of color), & men and women, and simply because Americans. We were UNIFIED for awhile. And fast forward 8-years--2-days after President Obama's congressional speech on health care--where both parties showed some very un-unified behavior--and we had a day of peace to remember the single day of the most deadly terrorist violence on our land. And the day after that? We seem to be un-unified all over again. And to me, that's not only sad, but rather annoying.
Annoying because we as Americans can do better, and it's not that we can't, it's that we don't--or won't. Our attention span seems to need collective Ritalin. We act much like the religious person who goes to confess, and then goes out the next day and does all the things all over again that he confessed in his place of worship. And that's to a large degree what 9/12 means today.
Perhaps the day is too painful to remember for more than the anniversary. Perhaps we don't want to think about some of the longer term ramifications that 9/11 brought on to us other than a spot on the stage of world terrorism. But perhaps there's something else that we really don't want to admit, but need to get out in the open, and it's this: 9/11 made our country grow up, and our country was much like the spoiled kid that just never really had to grow up because of his/her wealth and power. Sorry, folks, but this country got caught with its pants down on 9/11 and got punched--and suffered a near TKO at the hands of very well organized extremist group that--although I believe evil--at least knows why it believes what it believes, and has proven to be a formidible enemy to the greatest and most powerful nation in the history of recorded civilization.
But even more than that, I believe that we've forgotten since 9/11 the danger of any such extreme group--a group that is vocal, well organized, and believes that ONLY its narrow point of view is acceptable--and that everybody else is condemned to eternal damnation. Yes, that pretty much describes Al-Qaeda, doesn't it? OK. But it also pretty much describes a couple of extremes within our borders: the far right-wing nutjobs and the far-left bleeding heart progressives. Yeah, now 9/11 really hurts, doesn't it? We hate what happened to us, yet we're becoming what we hate. So, here's another reason to stand one's ground against the polarization of America! Extremes are dangerous, folks. And, all you need as a reminder is 9/11.
So, as 9/12 winds down and 9/13 looms, I encourage all to not only remember 9/11 for what it was, but spawned it, and not only avoiding it happening again, but squelching the seed of extremist attitudes which spawned the terrorism in the first place.
And, that means remembering beyond 9/11. And 9/12.
Perhaps to some elementary school students, they get put down to the lowest common denominator to 3/4. To others it's the middle sequence to the numbers 3/6 and 15/18.
For others, it's "the day after".
The day after what?
9/11, of course. But I guarantee there are those that had to think about it, and that's sad--sad because what happened on 9/11/2001 should be galvanized on the minds of every single American, and more to the point, of why extremism within our borders should be avoided at all costs.
That's right, the toppling of the twin towers, the damage to The Pentagon, the loss of all of those lives and the anguish still being felt on a daily--and for some on an hourly basis. All brought to this land by an extreme group called Al-Qaeda. And, it's hard to believe it's been 8-years since the largest act of terrorism on American soil. And while we live in what many call the "post 9/11 world", many have just gone on with their lives as if it never happened--until they remember it on each anniversary. And that's a shame, although I shouldn't be surprised.
And, I guess that's the reason I didn't write about 9/11 until 9/12. To America's credit, most observed the day in remembrance, most remember exactly where they were when they saw those first images of horror and terror. I know some mourned and others prayed. I know some got angry and others just remembered. Thank goodness our politicians called off the dogs for the day.
And, it's on that note--remembering 9/11/01 as a day that, for the day and for awhile after--we stopped being Democrat and Republican, Black and White (and every other people of color), & men and women, and simply because Americans. We were UNIFIED for awhile. And fast forward 8-years--2-days after President Obama's congressional speech on health care--where both parties showed some very un-unified behavior--and we had a day of peace to remember the single day of the most deadly terrorist violence on our land. And the day after that? We seem to be un-unified all over again. And to me, that's not only sad, but rather annoying.
Annoying because we as Americans can do better, and it's not that we can't, it's that we don't--or won't. Our attention span seems to need collective Ritalin. We act much like the religious person who goes to confess, and then goes out the next day and does all the things all over again that he confessed in his place of worship. And that's to a large degree what 9/12 means today.
Perhaps the day is too painful to remember for more than the anniversary. Perhaps we don't want to think about some of the longer term ramifications that 9/11 brought on to us other than a spot on the stage of world terrorism. But perhaps there's something else that we really don't want to admit, but need to get out in the open, and it's this: 9/11 made our country grow up, and our country was much like the spoiled kid that just never really had to grow up because of his/her wealth and power. Sorry, folks, but this country got caught with its pants down on 9/11 and got punched--and suffered a near TKO at the hands of very well organized extremist group that--although I believe evil--at least knows why it believes what it believes, and has proven to be a formidible enemy to the greatest and most powerful nation in the history of recorded civilization.
But even more than that, I believe that we've forgotten since 9/11 the danger of any such extreme group--a group that is vocal, well organized, and believes that ONLY its narrow point of view is acceptable--and that everybody else is condemned to eternal damnation. Yes, that pretty much describes Al-Qaeda, doesn't it? OK. But it also pretty much describes a couple of extremes within our borders: the far right-wing nutjobs and the far-left bleeding heart progressives. Yeah, now 9/11 really hurts, doesn't it? We hate what happened to us, yet we're becoming what we hate. So, here's another reason to stand one's ground against the polarization of America! Extremes are dangerous, folks. And, all you need as a reminder is 9/11.
So, as 9/12 winds down and 9/13 looms, I encourage all to not only remember 9/11 for what it was, but spawned it, and not only avoiding it happening again, but squelching the seed of extremist attitudes which spawned the terrorism in the first place.
And, that means remembering beyond 9/11. And 9/12.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Now It's The Far Left's Turn To Get It!
And, you won't see me use the word "liberal"--because the true meaning of the word hardly fits this bunch. Yes, far left, they've earned as much of the moderates' wrath as the far right-wing nutjobs (wingnuts). And with me, the far left has earned more!
My principal issues with the far left is these: First,the love affair with the government tit. Yes, it seems they believe that our nation's economic and social quagmire can be dried up and paved over by one government entity after another. Sadly, though, that pavement soon turns into potholes, and then getting those potholes filled takes months because of all the bureaucracy that a government agency comes with. And we haven't even begun to talk about how we're going to pay for the plastic surgery to increase the size of the government tit. But the far left doesn't seem to care about trivial details like that--just increase taxes and justify it by talk of "leveling the playing field".
Which leads to my second beef: a sense of entitlement, particularly when it comes to the health care debate. I've heard it from everybody from Facebook friends to leftist pundits: everybody deserves affordable health care. And, in some cases, everybody deserves free health care through a nationalized health care system. To both I vehemently disagree! Not EVERYBODY deserves health care--free or otherwise. For those that willingly ignore their health by smoking? They don't deserve free health care--they deserve lung cancer and/or emphasyma. For those that willingly eat 100-times the recommended daily allowance of simple carbohydrates (sugar)? You deserve type-2 diabetes. You don't deserve me and others who willingly live healthy lives and make healthy choices to be a breast pump for your government tit. And I'm willing to bet you that at least 50% of the nearly 46-million uninsured Americans fall in the aforementioned category. For the rest, I will say there does need to be health care reform to make their health insurance not only affordable, but TIMELY. And it's on the timeliness that nationalized health care will fail, and fail miserably. All one has to do is observe the speed of other government agencies doing what they do. SLOOOOOOWWWW!! So, don't think a government agency over your health care will be any different. And, I'd bet the far left would be the first to find something to bitch about it.
Now, I'm not going to begin to say the debate over health care reform is easy--it's obviously not. But I'll be dipped in green doo-doo before I subsidize somebody else's health care beyond my own charitable deed--lest those that refuse to take care of themselves and/or educate themselves about their best present health care options pay the consequences.
Yes, it seems the far left simply doesn't like to talk about consequences. Dirty word--that "consequences". And one of the consequences of centralization of power through massive government is designed to have the government tit help level the economic playing field--i.e. socialism, which leads to communism, which doesn't work. Do the letters "U-S-S-R" come to mind? Total government led to pittance wages and a destitute life for a vast majority of its citizens. In fact, there was a saying from 'ol Russia: "They pretend to pay us, so we pretend to work." Well, that's what happens when you tax the well-to-do to death, and the far left has no use for the rich--unless it's them. And, like it or not, you need the rich to be charitable to help the poor and downtrodden that the far left says it champions. All of this has historical precedent.
Oh, and by the way, there's not much from the far left that is truly "liberal". Our Founding Fathers were true "liberals". Our democratic republic form or government is really a liberal form of government--you don't like your representatives? Change it--vote 'em out. How about checks & balances of the executive, legislative and judicial branches of government--all to avoid what the far left wants: centralized government in the hands of a few. All of our founders weren't Christians. May were deists. Some had no faith. But they all ended up in agreement that a religious theocracy was not the way to go either--which evolved into separation of church and state. Yes, our Founding Fathers were true liberals, but today's far left resembles only a shell of Jefferson et.al.
Now, to be clear, I'm not talking about "moderate progressives" no more than I'm talking about "moderate conservatives" when I take the right wing nutjobs (wingnuts) to task for their perversion of conservatism. Both are extreme, and life on the extremes is simply impossible, both politically and culturally. I've said it before and I'll reiterate it again: it's the polarization of America--with more and more folks being sucked to the far right and the far left--that is the biggest danger to our nation. If both extremes had their way, only their very narrow point of view would be acceptable, and with meld of cultures and peoples that is present day Americana, that's not only absurd, it's dangerous. And the far left must be exposed and stood up to just as much as the far right.
From me, consider both extremes on notice. I pray my fellow moderates will follow suit.
My principal issues with the far left is these: First,the love affair with the government tit. Yes, it seems they believe that our nation's economic and social quagmire can be dried up and paved over by one government entity after another. Sadly, though, that pavement soon turns into potholes, and then getting those potholes filled takes months because of all the bureaucracy that a government agency comes with. And we haven't even begun to talk about how we're going to pay for the plastic surgery to increase the size of the government tit. But the far left doesn't seem to care about trivial details like that--just increase taxes and justify it by talk of "leveling the playing field".
Which leads to my second beef: a sense of entitlement, particularly when it comes to the health care debate. I've heard it from everybody from Facebook friends to leftist pundits: everybody deserves affordable health care. And, in some cases, everybody deserves free health care through a nationalized health care system. To both I vehemently disagree! Not EVERYBODY deserves health care--free or otherwise. For those that willingly ignore their health by smoking? They don't deserve free health care--they deserve lung cancer and/or emphasyma. For those that willingly eat 100-times the recommended daily allowance of simple carbohydrates (sugar)? You deserve type-2 diabetes. You don't deserve me and others who willingly live healthy lives and make healthy choices to be a breast pump for your government tit. And I'm willing to bet you that at least 50% of the nearly 46-million uninsured Americans fall in the aforementioned category. For the rest, I will say there does need to be health care reform to make their health insurance not only affordable, but TIMELY. And it's on the timeliness that nationalized health care will fail, and fail miserably. All one has to do is observe the speed of other government agencies doing what they do. SLOOOOOOWWWW!! So, don't think a government agency over your health care will be any different. And, I'd bet the far left would be the first to find something to bitch about it.
Now, I'm not going to begin to say the debate over health care reform is easy--it's obviously not. But I'll be dipped in green doo-doo before I subsidize somebody else's health care beyond my own charitable deed--lest those that refuse to take care of themselves and/or educate themselves about their best present health care options pay the consequences.
Yes, it seems the far left simply doesn't like to talk about consequences. Dirty word--that "consequences". And one of the consequences of centralization of power through massive government is designed to have the government tit help level the economic playing field--i.e. socialism, which leads to communism, which doesn't work. Do the letters "U-S-S-R" come to mind? Total government led to pittance wages and a destitute life for a vast majority of its citizens. In fact, there was a saying from 'ol Russia: "They pretend to pay us, so we pretend to work." Well, that's what happens when you tax the well-to-do to death, and the far left has no use for the rich--unless it's them. And, like it or not, you need the rich to be charitable to help the poor and downtrodden that the far left says it champions. All of this has historical precedent.
Oh, and by the way, there's not much from the far left that is truly "liberal". Our Founding Fathers were true "liberals". Our democratic republic form or government is really a liberal form of government--you don't like your representatives? Change it--vote 'em out. How about checks & balances of the executive, legislative and judicial branches of government--all to avoid what the far left wants: centralized government in the hands of a few. All of our founders weren't Christians. May were deists. Some had no faith. But they all ended up in agreement that a religious theocracy was not the way to go either--which evolved into separation of church and state. Yes, our Founding Fathers were true liberals, but today's far left resembles only a shell of Jefferson et.al.
Now, to be clear, I'm not talking about "moderate progressives" no more than I'm talking about "moderate conservatives" when I take the right wing nutjobs (wingnuts) to task for their perversion of conservatism. Both are extreme, and life on the extremes is simply impossible, both politically and culturally. I've said it before and I'll reiterate it again: it's the polarization of America--with more and more folks being sucked to the far right and the far left--that is the biggest danger to our nation. If both extremes had their way, only their very narrow point of view would be acceptable, and with meld of cultures and peoples that is present day Americana, that's not only absurd, it's dangerous. And the far left must be exposed and stood up to just as much as the far right.
From me, consider both extremes on notice. I pray my fellow moderates will follow suit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)